


Snowman's Orgy (Or how Leon got his balls jingled)

by vix_spes



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Family, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 09:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5328863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vix_spes/pseuds/vix_spes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the time comes for Leon's family to meet his boyfriend, the person to win over is Leon's beloved nana.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snowman's Orgy (Or how Leon got his balls jingled)

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to A for the incredibly quick beta. Written for the prompt: Gwaine/Leon, rude seasonal sweaters

As far as Leon was concerned, his love of knitwear could be blamed entirely on his nana.

Leon's grandmother on his father's side, Gwyn Kendrick was adored by every single member of the family. Some of Leon's favourite childhood memories came from sitting at her feet listening to the clack of needles and her melodious voice telling him tales of legends and mythology. Having learnt her craft from her mother, Nana Gwyn had not only knitted and sewn all of her children's clothes, she had carried on the practice with her grandchildren. At least where knitting was concerned.

As the youngest of five siblings, this meant that Leon was the proud owner of a plethora of hand-knitted items of clothingranging from hats and scarves to numerous jumpers and even a blanket. 

He had come in for plenty of teasing over the years when it came to his 'Weasley jumpers' - as one particularly persistent group of bullies had referred to them all the way through school. But Leon bore the teasing stoically and continued to wear them defiantly. Even now, at the ripe old age of twenty-seven.

It kind of went with his profession though.

Leon was a teacher in the infant school of Ealdor Primary School. Teaching had never been Leon's intended career path, especially not teaching little ones as he did now. Ever since he was a child, Leon dreamed of being in the army. That was all he ever wanted to do. His dreams had blown up about six weeks into the first term of his final year at university. A bad tackle in the seventy-fifth minute of a Varsity XV rugby match had left him with an ACL so badly torn that it needed metalwork to rebuild it. Once Leon healed and returned to full fitness, the man at the army recruiting office had been perfectly nice and sympathetic but remained strict about army regulations; the metal that now held his knee together meant that he would never be accepted into any branch of the British armed forces.

He had been forced to come up with an entirely new career plan and, for a long time, hadn't had a clue what he wanted to do. In the end, it was his big sister who pointed out that Leon was wonderful with all of his nieces and nephews; had he ever considered being a teacher? Leon hadn't, but the more that he thought about it, the more it made sense and before he knew it (albeit with an inordinate amount of hard work), he was graduating as a fully qualified teacher.

The position teaching year two at Ealdor had been Leon's first post. He adored it and would happily stay there forever if he could.

Besides, he still got his rugby fix playing for the local team, the Ealdor Knights, as well as coaching one of their youth teams. Mr Leon, as he was called by his 6 and 7 year old charges, was adored by all of them: he even rivalled Mr Merlin when it came to the role of favourite teacher.

Every time Christmas came around, all of the children took great delight in trying to guess what Christmas-themed item of clothing Leon would wear the following day with Nana Gwyn's jumpers always being a popular choice.

Then again, that wasn't entirely surprising. Nana Gwyn's jumpers were famous and Leon had lost count of the number of times that people had asked if she would take commissions and knit them something. He always said no but he had the feeling that if Nana was asked herself, she would jump at the opportunity.

Despite her steadily advancing age, Nana Gwyn still knitted every single day and had started supplying the newest generation of their family, Leon's nieces and nephews. Even Leon's fashion-conscious sister had been overheard saying that having her children wearing hand-knitted clothes as she had was a nice tradition although she would prefer if they looked a little more fashionable. Luckily, the wearing of knitted creations was left to the children the majority of the time.

But, there was one time of the year that every single member of the Kendrick family was expected to wear a Nana Gwyn original and that was Christmas.

At some point, no-one was quite sure when, it had become tradition and nobody broke it for fear of upsetting the much beloved matriarch of the family. Considering that they all got a new jumper every couple of years, more than than a few members of the family had a veritable plethora of Christmas jumpers. At last count, Leon had five and that wasn't even counting the ones that his mum undoubtedly had hidden away from his childhood.

This Christmas, normally Leon's favourite holiday, was going to be the first that Leon's boyfriend Gwaine had spent with Leon's family. Leon's family had met him of course, or at least most of them had, but this was going to be the first time that Gwaine had spent any length of time with them.

~*~

Leon had met Gwaine – someone that he had heard a lot about but never actually met – the previous Christmas, when Leon had been invited to a holiday party at Merlin's.

Unlike Leon, who lived in a little terraced house by himself, Merlin lived in a huge old Victorian house with two friends from university, Gwen and Gwaine. Leon knew Gwen and got on incredibly well with her. Gwen was very sweet and good-natured with an always-ready smile. She was a music teacher and visited several schools in the area to give individual music lessons, run choirs and orchestras as well as give whole class music lessons. Her lessons were always eagerly anticipated by the children and she was almost as adored as Leon and Merlin.

If he was completely honest, Leon wasn't entirely sure what he was expecting from Gwaine. Or indeed from the party itself. Gwen had been all smiles and enthusiasm when she invited him but Leon had been a bit wary when he saw something flash on Merlin's face.

When pressed, Merlin admitted that Gwen was on a bit of a Bridget Jones kick at the moment and that, despite their efforts to rein her in, the party was actually going to consist of a turkey curry buffet, and that Christmas jumpers were absolutely essential. Leon wasn't entirely sure what the problem was with any of that. Okay, so he maybe wasn't convinced about the sound of turkey curry but he was willing to give it a go.

By the time he made it to the party, Leon was feeling less than enthusiastic. He'd paid a visit to his brother Gareth's house on the way to Merlin's, not realising that the rest of his siblings would be there and they had ganged up on him. Their unanimous decision had been that, while his 'Twas the night before Christmas' jumper was very lovely, it was far too staid for a party.

Before Leon could even squawk, they pinned him to the floor and manhandled him out of his jumper into one they felt was more suitable for the occasion. Fit though he was, Leon was no match for four older siblings who knew how to fight dirty.

He even found himself dropped off at Merlin's 'so that he wasn't tempted to drink and drive' although he knew that really it was so that he didn't have the opportunity to change jumpers again. He wasn't mollified in the slightest when Merlin burst into laughter the minute that he saw Leon - something that Leon felt was a little hypocritical considering that Merlin's own jumper was emblazoned with a rather deformed penguin.

"Oh, Gwaine is going to love you."

Leon was just about to counter that Merlin could hardly talk considering his own jumper when he was escorted into the kitchen for a drink. His gaze was immediately caught by the amazing arse of the man standing in front of the counter.

"Hey Gwaine, this is Leon. You know, the guy Gwen and I have been telling you about?"

Leon felt his face flush in mortification as the guy turned around. He was absolutely gorgeous, just Leon's type, and here Leon was, looking like a complete idiot in a jumper decorated in sparkly baubles adorned with tiny bells and the slogan 'Jingle my balls'. Casting a quick glance at the other man, he started to feel a little better when he saw that Gwaine was wearing an equally rude jumper - only his featured a cross-dressing Santa, fishnet stockings and all.

"Leon, is it? Well, a pleasure to meet you. Do I have to wait until our third date to jingle your balls or shall I just try my luck under the mistletoe later?"

Leon wasn't sure if it was the ridiculous chat up line or the over the top waggle of Gwaine's eyebrows that broke the ice but something did and Leon finally relaxed enough to spend most of the evening chatting to Merlin's ridiculously hot housemate. Gwaine didn't quite get Leon under the mistletoe that night. But, when they went on their first date two days later, he was a bit more successful and they hadn't looked back since.

~*~

Much to Leon's relief, things seemed to be going well at Nana's. Gwaine charmed Leon's mum and sisters while his dad and brothers were slowly thawing as the conversation revolved around cricket and rugby.

The only one left to crack was Nana Gwyn. Leon had tried not to stress too much about this meeting or put too much pressure on Gwaine but he wasn't sure that he had completely succeeded.

It was tricky. Leon liked Gwaine, he really liked Gwaine, and he liked to think that he could be in this one for the long haul. He just really needed Nana Gwyn to like him. Noticing that Gwaine had been summoned over to where Nana Gwyn was holding court amidst numerous great grand-children, Leon topped up his drink and tried to subtly edge closer to them so that he could eavesdrop on their conversation.

“So Gwaine, that's a very unusual design on your jumper. What is it? Is it handmade?”

“Yes, my housemate Gwen knitted it. It's supposed to be dancing snowmen but, well, she's a bit shit at knitting. The problem is, she's too nice for us to tell her that she's bad at knitting so we just wear what she makes us. We usually just refer to it as the snowman orgy.”

Leon choked on his drink. Of all the things for Gwaine to come out with. And just when things were going so well.

He held his breath, not wanting to look at anybody, waiting to hear Nana Gwyn's response. His family was going to kill him if she keeled over from a heart-attack as a result of what his boyfriend said to her.

Gwaine was apparently completely oblivious to the fact that everyone around him was holding their breath. He sent what he clearly thought was a winning smile towards Leon as Nana Gwyn began to laugh uproariously.

“Well, you boys will match then, won't you?”

His family looked at each other in disbelief. Leon took another fortifying glug of his drink.

“Old Angharad down in the village gave me the pattern that I used for Leon's jumper; she got it from her great grand-daughter. Maybe you can persuade him to put it on. I knitted fornicating deer on Leon's jumper this year. They'll go lovely with your snowman orgy.”

Scratch that, Gwaine might have pissed himself laughing but it was Leon who was going to have the heart-attack.

“I can make you matching ones for next year. I'm sure Dai's wife said she had a pattern of Santa spanking some elves.”


End file.
